Past Valentines for my family have been filled with excitement, tenderness with little's, cute heart underwear as gifts and of course flowers and chocolates.
But. Not. This. Year.
Going on 4 weeks in the hospital and we are stuck. Like, somewhere between a rock and a hard place. Ever been there?
For those who've been following our recent hospital experience, the complications appear to be endless. I explained in my last post Can Wisdom be elusive for the Wise that Olivia was in a lot of pain from her wisdom teeth, which continues to be overlooked as painful. We checked-in the end of January for a drug wean, and since then each day continues to morph into unbelievable complication after complication.
Now, for today. In addition to the mouth pain, this poor girl has had high fevers for over 10 days. We've had all the blood work to find a source of infection and they've come up with diddly squat. So here we are with a diagnosis of FUO - Fever of Unknown Origin --- aka a mountain of hurdles. You see, there will be no surgery with this mysterious fever. In addition, fever medications haven't been working -- maybe 50% of the time and she is getting weaker by the day.
Sometimes I just don't get it. Why do the hurdles have to be so high? My conversations with God seem to get shorter during these intense moments, I don't know..... my mind goes blank and I can't think....I don't like it.
From the fever's early beginnings my mommy instinct kept going back to the day after the abscess surgery when she was put on 6, yes 6 medications all at once. Many of these medications were major pain narcotics and for a mom with a kid who doesn't process drugs the way others do, I was a bit concerned. Within two days of starting these medications her fevers started.....and never stopped.
Ten days later, they now have a theory. Drug fever. Hmmmmm.....yes, a reaction to a drug, exactly what I was concerned about. But hey, I'm just a mom.
New meds, high, unexplained fevers = drug fever. Here's a news flash.......medicines have side effects and actually can cause problems. Benefits do not always outweigh the risks.
So, we wait. We wait for her little body to deal with whatever it could not handle. We all know the waiting is the hardest. This song. "Take Courage" is incredible. Words so spot on for my weary valentine heart and painful days of waiting. If this post catches you on a vulnerable Valentine's Day lean in....you won't be disappointed.
Slow down, take time
Breath in He said
He'd reveal what's to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He'll reveal all to come
Take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He's in the waiting
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He's never failing
I am so thankful for your prayers. Holding onto my hope that she'll pull through this. Once she does, her wisdom teeth will have to come out. Praying these days shorten up quickly.❤️